| | (Warning: Some of this post contains explicit language.)
Well friends, I am thoroughly enjoying my job as a door-to-door salesman. I am selling an amazing product, and the weather, most of the time, has been absolutely delightful. I sell a community savings book, where everything in the book is completely local and either free or buy one get one. Cause Marketing and the local businesses provide the product, and they are doing it (for the money, duh but also) for community awareness for the United Spinal Association. In the past three years, they raised 3.5 million dollars for Wheelchair Basketball in Colorado. I get 10 dollars off of each book I sell. There is 9,230 dollars of savings and it goes for thirty. There's everything one could ever want, including two free oil changes, five different locations that do either free drinks every day or every week, a free pizza a month, free appetizers a month, and buy one get ones on local dining, more casual places (including Dominos, Papa Johns, Quiznos, and Cold Stone Creamery), and entertainment (Elitch Gardens (which used to be a part of Six Flags), sporting events, Chuck E. Cheese, bowling, etc).
No, that was not my pitch. It would take forever to write out. Forget it.
Quickly, here are some of the highlights (and lowlights) of working out in Arvada, CO:
1. A lady who was not able to buy a book because her husband had just been run over TWICE BY THE SAME PERSON and (obviously) needed to save money
2. The people who are going bankrupt. They tend to be the most honest with you.
3. An AMAZING guy named Bob. We had a GREAT political discussion, probably one of the best ones I've ever had with someone. Bob's forearms were probably the size of my head. He's a PA and leans Republican (especially for elected positions), because he believes that businessmen do best at handling the pressure of being elected.
4. The SWEETEST old lady I've ever met (apart from the lady in the psychiatric hospital in Bolivia). Her name was Carolynne, and she was 94. She had an AMAZING garden, it was SO beautiful. She gently reminded me that I should call my grandmother weekly because it would really make her day.
5. Me ringing the doorbell (it happened last Saturday), and this guy yelling, What the fuck do you want? Who the fuck do you think you are? I don't want to buy your stupid, fucking product! Get the hell of my porch, you fucking ass wipe!
6. The guy where he said hi, I said "hi," and he said "no," and closed the door.
7. The people who think I'm Mormon and the people who don't buy the book because 'they never used last year's book.' Um, hello, it's called free in your area. You're a complete idiot to not use it.
8. DOGS. ALMOST EVERY DOOR. Everything from Chihuahas to some type of Russian hunting dog that would be as tall as me if it stood straight up.
9. A black girl coming to the door in her shirt and her lingerie/bikini (I still don't know) and a white guy in his fifties coming to the door in a white t-shirt and briefs.
10. People obviously avoiding the big-bad-salesman (aka me). They're so funny and way easy to spot, lol.
11. The fact that I'll probably die of emphysema before the end of the summer because of second hand smoke.
12. Hearing an 60s-ish year old man (I didn't get his name) brag about how non-conformist he is and how he communicates with a few select people via ham radio (as opposed to the telephone)
13. Ringing the doorbell, hearing a little girl say, Daddy, it's a salesman, and Daddy not even talking to me, just waving me away.
14. Petting an old cat that was blind, balding, and probably dying. It brought my spirits back up that day.
Oh, and of course, you all want to know my record. Well, I've never done less than four a day, and my highest is nine (and that was in a day where we were only out for six hours as opposed to eight)..
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| | Posted 6/1/2008 8:54 AM - 51 Views - 6 eProps - 3 comments
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